You find yourself locked to a wall, wrists cuffed to either side. A small gray creature near by sits, slumped over. "You can't keep me here!" You yell, tugging at chains with a grunt. "You hear me?!!"
"Save your energy. You have been... left to die." The creature says, moving to stand and come closer, looking you over.
"Then I will escape!" You practically growl the words out, never to be defeated or forced to do what you don't want. You will not stand for this!
"Impossible. Heh, I have been here for more years then I care to remember." The creature of an unknown race walks closer to you, sniffing as he gets a better look.
Stubbornly, you lift your head, not scared of interrogation or threats. Stubborn. "I am a Jedi. We don't give up easily."
The creature almost laughs at that. "Jedi? Heh. But so young! Where is your master?" He taunts, moving around you now.
You turn your head, trying to stare at the being, glaring at it. "He will come for me..." you trail off darkly. He will come and you will be sorry for holding me here, you think.
"And, if he does not?" It's voice is annoying and inquisitive, like it knows something you don't.
"He will." And you have no doubt in your mind what so ever that he will. Anakin would never abandon you there alone.
"What makes you so sure?" The creature croons, but with a flick of something in his hand, he turns at the cuffs and undoes them for you.
Surprised by being freed, you rub at your wrists, turning to look up at him. "Thank you..."
"The chains?" He starts, in a wise tone. "They are the easy part. It's what goes on in here..." he tapped his head. "...that is hard. Don't you see, child? You... are alone now. If you are to survive you must forget your master."
He moves around you as he speaks, your head swims a moment and you touch your forehead. Everything feels wrong. "Mm... I don't think I..." And then it bites you, long pointed buck teeth sinking into your arm. Grabbing the bitten arm you yell "What have you done?!"
"You are MINE now." The voice changes, a bit deeper now. Darker. You gasp, falling to the ground and pass out in a wave of heat.
When you wake again, blue eyes turn yellow and everything is in a haze. You feel heavy and dark, like your mind is on fire. Nothing feels real for a while but then everything feels suddenly too intense. Too strong. You feel it, the power of the Force within you, stronger than ever. Burning like a fire granting you the power you must have always desired.
You can't tell how long it's been, but you stand in the middle of a court yard, stock still, hands to the side, feeling the force pulse though you like it wills you to reach out and take what is yours. Like it holds you with a warm burning embrace. There is a light in the back of your head, pulling for you. Calling your name.
That light isn't in your mind though. It's behind you.
Anakin calls your name. "Ahsoka." He says, but you don't move. "Ahsoka! It's me. You're safe now. Let's go." He sounds concerned and unsure, looking around as if waiting for a surprise attack. The nerve of him, waltzing in here and thinking you are safe just because he was there.
"Are you... proud of me, Master?" You say, voice dark and low. It feels like a question you've asked yourself for ages now. Was he proud of you? The things you've done in the past, the failures and victories. Was he proud? It felt like you never actually knew if he was or not.
"What?" Anakin says in surprise? Shock that you are even asking. "Uh, of course, Snips. Of course I'm proud of you." He says it swiftly, almost like he's just saying it to say it. "You know. Now lets get out of here." A brush off.
You lift your head and open your eyes, unimpressed by the answer. "He's right. Right about everything. You must join him." You say, like a puppet on a string. Your head tilts and eyes get big and sad, soft. Mocking. A cutsie kind of mocking pose. "He only wants what's best for the universe..."
"Hey, what's wrong with you..." Anakin asks, suddenly more concerned as he can see your face. See the lines running over your skin, dark and twisted. He seems surprised, but you're not at all convinced he cares.
"Alllways with the criticism, master!" You growl back, as if in reality his comments have always burned. Always hurt. "Never really believing in me! Trusting me! Well... I don't need you anymore." You say, turning away.
"Ahsoka. Ahsoka listen to me. He has done something to you, snap out of it! This isn't you Ahsoka!" The man sounds almost pleading as he steps closer, trying to get you to see reason, but it feels as if reason is too late. He should have appreciated you better!
"Isn't it!? I feel more like myself then I ever have!" You say, completely giddy by feeling so much power, feeling so alive. "He asked me to give you a message. He said... if you don't join him... he will KILL me." And you laugh. Positively amused by this idea. As if death didn't matter to you anymore. Simply serving the Son was enough for you now.
"I wont let him!" Anakin states firmly, determined. There is a flicker of something in the back of your mind. A hope. You hope it's true. You want someone to want you around. You want to be important to someone you respect--but that thought is fleeting and you snap.
"Then YOU will be forced to kill me!" you say, pointing a finger down at him before calling your lightsaber to your hand.
The battle is long and you mock him through out most of it. You fight hard and you find that you are almost a match for him, even if he is holding back enough not to kill you. When Master Kenobi joins in, you battle them both, giving them a good fight.
You don't remember much after that. The memory is muddled, dark and fuzzy, as if burning at the edges. Like your mind is on fire. There is a moment of pride from someone. The Son. And then the world goes dark and cold.
You remember nothing. No light at the end. No dark even. You just remember nothing.
On Onderon, you find yourself staring off alsmot wishfully at Lux Bonteri (a stately young man with dark hair and dark eyes) as he and Steela Gerrera (a beautiful warrior with dark hair and steel blue eyes) practiced a training technique that you had been teaching the rebel group.
Your Masters have both left already, having to deal with something else, leaving you there to observe only. Observe and advise. It was hard not to get involved, especially when you believed in the cause.
You still burn a little in the cheeks when you remember your master warning you about your feelings and to stay focused on the mission at hand. It is really hard to focus though, when every time Lux and Steela were as close as they were, you felt a tightness knot up in your chest. A feeling you didn't quite understand.
Someone mumbles your name, to get your attention. Jerking back you turn around to look at a handsome faced young man. Saw Gerrera.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" You ask, embarrassed that you were caught staring off like an idiot. You don't even understand what's come over you. So what if Lux and Steela are... close. He might have been your first kiss, but it wasn't like it meant anything. It had been a cover, some time ago.
And you're a Jedi. Attachments like that are forbidden.
"I asked if you were alright." Saw says in a deep voice, eyes looking over your face in concern.
"Fine. I'm fine. Just keeping an eye on how everyone is training." It's a lie and you feel bad for stating it.
"Well, Commander, perhaps you would care to help me practice?" It was the third time Saw had come to you to get some practice in, and the third time he had helped you get your head back into the game. This was no time to be mooning over a boy you couldn't have.
Though you might have missed the fact that Saw was doing more than just distracting you. Not that you had ever been good with flirting.
You are looking up to a man with dark hair in dark Jedi robes. Anakin Skywalker. Your former master. The only person who believed you were innocent when the world came collapsing down on your head a while back. The only Jedi who stuck by your side in the trials. The council looked the other way in shame, but he fought hard to prove you were innocent.
And you left. When proven innocent and given the chance to return to the Order, you decided to leave. The guilt of that action has weighed heavy for some time, but today it has lifted a bit.
Today you stand before your old Master as he accepts you once again. Not into the order, but at least into his life. He hands you two lightsabers. The two you left behind when you had to leave the order. They feel heavy in your hands as you take them. Heavy, yes, but also like they had been returned home. A familiar comfort in their weight, like you had been naked without them for some time.
"Be careful." Anakin says to you, head lifting and looking down to you with a steady but concerned look. "Maul is tricky and he has no mercy in him at all."
"I remember." You say, trying to scrape up a bit of that old bravado that earned you the nickname Snips so long ago. He's trusting you to these weapons. The weapons of a Jedi. A Jedi that you are no longer.
"I know." He smiles down upon you, rolling a shoulder, already distracted with his own fight to come. To run off and save the Chancellor Palpatine. "But you know how I worry." When he says it, it feels honest and warm. A genuine comment. He worries still. He worries about you even though you left his tutelage.
"What could happen?" You say, acting more like your old self. Cocky perhaps, and not completely serious, but there is a smile on your face now as well. It feels good to see him again. You wish he could stay and continue the fight by your side. Or that you didn't have to stay here and fight this fight. That you could return with him to help him too.
Anakin is in a rush to get back to his own mission though, leaving you and his troops to take care of Darth Maul on Mandalore. The smell of burning buildings and lands around you is strong, and the troops you haven't lead in months are waiting for you to lead them once again. Their lives are in your hands once more.
So intensely alone. Everything that you have been connected to before is gone, and a weight rests so heavy on your chest that it almost feels as if a building had been dropped on you.
Everything had gone to shit and you're not positive about what has happened. One minute you were fighting Darth Maul, the next minute the clone troopers turned on you. Turned on Rex as well. Caught in a rock and a hard place it came down to taking Darth Maul down or leaving Captain Rex to death.
You didn't regret your choice to save Rex. You never have, though you do hold a deep guilt in that moment, about the chaos that Darth Maul could cause, unchecked by the Jedi.
Unchecked... because the Jedi were dead. All of them. Reaching out into the Force gives you nothing but a lost, empty feeling. A dreadful feeling of being alone.
Reaching out for Anakin in the Force, trying to find that connection you and he had results in nothing. Silence. Everything was silent. There was an emptiness in the Force as if they were all gone and only you were left alone.
The Jedi were gone, and you should have been there to try and stop it. You abandoned them in their time of need. You know that if you had been there, you too would have died, but there is always that hope in the back of your head that you could have prevented something.
Rex caught the transmissions, passed along by the surviving clones reporting in. It was chaos. Every Jedi Master who had troops around them had been shot down and killed, left to lay, abandoned and alone.
Standing before a gravestone, you stare down at the name. The grave is for Captain Rex, the clone trooper you had learned so much from. You learned a lot from all of the troopers you had to lead, and they accepted you, no matter your failings, but you were closest to Rex.
You know the trooper in the grave is not Rex but another fallen clone brother in his armor. The two of you agreed to stage your deaths and go your own ways, out to the outer rim. After all, you personally would be wanted, and Rex was now AWOL.
In order to complete the image that you too are dead, you know what you must do. The two lightsabers in your hand, perfectly at home there in your grip feel heavier now than ever.
You turn them on, a green and yellowish green glow burns bright before you in the night. You tell yourself that the sting at your eyes is just the harshness of the lightsabers before you. You're not crying.
Anakin had given them back to you just that morning. You had walked away from the Jedi Temple and the Jedi order with nothing but the clothing on your back, leaving to try and find a new place in a very large galaxy. When a mission had come up that you couldn't look away from, you reached out to your former master for help.
And he accepted you. He gave the weapons of the Jedi back to you to do the job. Trusted you to do it...
You can't get the deep hurt of that failure out of your head and it hurts more every time you remember he accepted you back in his life, only to lose him again.
You turn the lightsabers off and plant them point down into the grave, shoving them into the dirt to leave them there. Who ever found the grave could connect who the lightsabers belonged to. Perhaps assume that the Jedi they belonged to was dead.
With one last glance, you turn to leave, forcing yourself not to call them to your hands again. It felt like a failure to abandon the weapons once more, but it was needed.
You are no longer a Jedi. You are no longer a peacekeeper. You have to start a new life in hiding.
The Sixth Brother's lightsaber was advanced and over complicated, using two kyber crystals, corrupted to turn a deep crimson red in anger.
But they call to you.
He tells you that you are weaponless, but that was where he was wrong. A Jedi was never weaponless. You had more going for you on your side than he did on his.
As the inquisitor steps towards you, close enough to touch, his blades spinning swiftly, you feel a moment of clarity, hearing them call out to you once more.
Just as you had reached for your first crystal all those year ago, you stretch your hand out.
Sensing your intentions, the Inquisitor tries to disconnect his weapon to fight you with two blades instead of one, but it was spinning too fast for him to do so.
Your hand lands almost gently on the cylindrical metal, and the Force flowed through you, warm and comforting, reminding you that it was still there within you. It had never abandoned you.
The hilt cracked at your soft touch, seeming to have nicked the power connection that channeled the crystals inside. It was overloading.
The world felt almost as if it came to a stand still. A sharp whine comes to your ears, the dark and light song of the crystals struggling for balance. You realize you needed to jump back and away.
Before you could utter a warning the red lightsaber burst into a mess of noise and light. Bright spots prick at your eyes and your ears ring for a moment, hands reaching up to protect your face and head.
When all went silent a moment later, you look up to see the Sixth Brother laying there in the street, dead. Face burnt and broken cylinder of his lightsaber in his bloody hand.
The song still sings loudly in your head, calling to you. They were still calling, as if they were always meant for you. The corrupted kyber crystals. You shift through the wreckage and found them, red and angry, littered on the ground before you.
Collecting them into your hand you hold them tightly, pulling a small bag from her belt. A half constructed set of lightsabers. Though enemy troops were near by and closing in on you, you force yourself to take a moment and close your eyes.
Meditation came easily to you now a days, and now was no exception.
For a moment, everything faded away into nothingness. Faded away into peace. It felt warm and inviting, and the song the kyber crystals that sing to you grow more peaceful and balanced as you work.
Opening your eyes you found two lightsabers, rough and unfinished but functional in your hands.
When you turned them on, they shine the brightest white you have ever seen.
You wander through a stately office, looking at a blue tank of fish. Alderaan Senator Bail Organa's office.
He had told you once that the tank was placed there for his daughter, to keep her out of trouble when he had work to do. To keep her distracted. The colorful fish were distracting, but you both knew that his daughter was growing up fast, and simple fish were not going to keep her distracted for long.
You pace, waiting for the man to appear. Like always, you have snuck into his office with out his knowing you were going to appear. You know it bothered him at first, but after some time, you are pretty sure he has gotten used to it.
'Another Jedi break in to report', he would comment at first. He knew better now.
You take a seat at his desk, waiting. You can hear the older mans voice approaching his office door. Though he is talking to someone, you can sense that he is alone.
Bail spoke on a communication device, coming into his office. "I know love, but we've gone over this. It's more secure this way." He says as the doors closes and he jumps, realizing that you are there, waiting.
You stand as you hear him say. "Tell your mother I will see her soon. Be a good girl, Leia." He turns off the device and smiles at you. "I didn't realize we had a meeting today, Fulcrum."
"I was in the sector and wanted to stop by." You say with a casual shrug and a charming smile. "How is your family doing?"
Bail smiles, a look that fits his face very well, you think. His face always lights up when you ask about his family. "They're doing well. It's getting harder and harder to keep Leia distracted from my work, however. I'm afraid she's going to follow in my foot steps."
"At least they're good steps to follow." You say, hands moving to rest behind your back, glancing over the fish tank again.
"I assume you're not here to talk about family." He says with a soft smile.
You glance back, a look of mild amusement on your face. "I do love hearing about your family, Bail, but no. I'm here to talk to you about Saw Gerrera's Partisans..."
The memory fades off there with a jumble of conversation that you cant catch. It's nothing more than a nice soft reminder of a very good man that you work for, and the very good family he loves.
You are on a transport ship, taking you back to the Jedi Temple after a very long and tiring time. You had been kidnapped and delivered to a planet for hunting. Hunted by Trandoshan's for sport. You helped several other kidnapped Younglings survive and escape, but not without losing a few.
You sit on the transport, staring off at a group of Wookiees, one of them having worked with you on the planet to get off it. Chewbacca was his name. Very helpful, very insightful. You might not have been able to do it in the end without him. Or at least the task would have been harder.
When the transport lands you slowly push yourself to stand, seeing just how muddy and messy you ended up. How many days had it been out there in the wilds? Your sore and battered, bruised and scraped. Seeing the younglings who had survived there for so much longer, get off the transport and smile at last. That made all the aches worth it.
It was a warm feeling, even through all the soreness. But not as warm as hearing your name called from your master.
Turning to look, you see Anakin rushing towards you, that look of concern and worry on his face, as well as a relief that you are alright. He may seem to act as if he doesn't worry about you in battle situations, but you know. You know for a fact that he does, and it's moments like this that you can see it clear on his face.
He grasps your shoulders and smiles down at you, his young padawan, lost from him for too long. That look on his face is also prideful to see that you made it home.
Before he can speak again, Master Plo Koon bows to you and in his calm voice says "It is good to see you safe, little one." You smile at him and give a nod in thanks. He has always been in your life in one way or another, and of course it is good to see him as well, but...
Anakin looks to you again with the most apologetic look you have ever seen your master hold. "... I am so sorry." He stated just as Master Plo Koon walks away.
"For what?" You ask, looking to him confused.
"For letting you go. For letting you get taken!" He tells you, a hand at your shoulder again, firm and strong. "It was my fault." He's so sincere. It must have scared him to have lost you.
"No... Master. It wasn't your fault." You try to reassure him.
But he's not taking it, still trying to explain. "I should have paid more attention. I should have tried harder! I..." It's clear he's torn up about losing you before.
"You already did everything you could." You reassure him as calmly as you can. Your voice is soft and heartfelt. "Everything you had to do. When I was out there. Alone. All I had was your training, and the lesson you taught me. And because of you I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well."
Anakin looks surprised as he looks down to you, eyes soft, clear that your words have touched him. "I don't know what to say..."
"I do." You say, looking up at him once again before bowing your head, hand over fist and bow to him in deep respect. "Thank you, Master."
Anakin smiles a warm smile down to you, stepping back a half a step and mimicking your pose, hand over fist and bowing. "You're welcome, my Padawan."
When you look up to that smile you feel w arm and proud. You have felt good about praise from your Master before, but something about this feels worlds warmer. Like the connection between the two of you grew stronger in that moment.
You step in beside him as you both turn to walk away, needing to fill him in on everything that happened and get cleaned up. But nothing can take that warm feeling from your chest right now.
Your master is proud of you and you are proud of yourself.
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Mortis and the Dark Side | Emotions: alone, fear, spite, anger, death
"Save your energy. You have been... left to die." The creature says, moving to stand and come closer, looking you over.
"Then I will escape!" You practically growl the words out, never to be defeated or forced to do what you don't want. You will not stand for this!
"Impossible. Heh, I have been here for more years then I care to remember." The creature of an unknown race walks closer to you, sniffing as he gets a better look.
Stubbornly, you lift your head, not scared of interrogation or threats. Stubborn. "I am a Jedi. We don't give up easily."
The creature almost laughs at that. "Jedi? Heh. But so young! Where is your master?" He taunts, moving around you now.
You turn your head, trying to stare at the being, glaring at it. "He will come for me..." you trail off darkly. He will come and you will be sorry for holding me here, you think.
"And, if he does not?" It's voice is annoying and inquisitive, like it knows something you don't.
"He will." And you have no doubt in your mind what so ever that he will. Anakin would never abandon you there alone.
"What makes you so sure?" The creature croons, but with a flick of something in his hand, he turns at the cuffs and undoes them for you.
Surprised by being freed, you rub at your wrists, turning to look up at him. "Thank you..."
"The chains?" He starts, in a wise tone. "They are the easy part. It's what goes on in here..." he tapped his head. "...that is hard. Don't you see, child? You... are alone now. If you are to survive you must forget your master."
He moves around you as he speaks, your head swims a moment and you touch your forehead. Everything feels wrong. "Mm... I don't think I..." And then it bites you, long pointed buck teeth sinking into your arm. Grabbing the bitten arm you yell "What have you done?!"
"You are MINE now." The voice changes, a bit deeper now. Darker. You gasp, falling to the ground and pass out in a wave of heat.
When you wake again, blue eyes turn yellow and everything is in a haze. You feel heavy and dark, like your mind is on fire. Nothing feels real for a while but then everything feels suddenly too intense. Too strong. You feel it, the power of the Force within you, stronger than ever. Burning like a fire granting you the power you must have always desired.
You can't tell how long it's been, but you stand in the middle of a court yard, stock still, hands to the side, feeling the force pulse though you like it wills you to reach out and take what is yours. Like it holds you with a warm burning embrace. There is a light in the back of your head, pulling for you. Calling your name.
That light isn't in your mind though. It's behind you.
Anakin calls your name. "Ahsoka." He says, but you don't move. "Ahsoka! It's me. You're safe now. Let's go." He sounds concerned and unsure, looking around as if waiting for a surprise attack. The nerve of him, waltzing in here and thinking you are safe just because he was there.
"Are you... proud of me, Master?" You say, voice dark and low. It feels like a question you've asked yourself for ages now. Was he proud of you? The things you've done in the past, the failures and victories. Was he proud? It felt like you never actually knew if he was or not.
"What?" Anakin says in surprise? Shock that you are even asking. "Uh, of course, Snips. Of course I'm proud of you." He says it swiftly, almost like he's just saying it to say it. "You know. Now lets get out of here." A brush off.
You lift your head and open your eyes, unimpressed by the answer. "He's right. Right about everything. You must join him." You say, like a puppet on a string. Your head tilts and eyes get big and sad, soft. Mocking. A cutsie kind of mocking pose. "He only wants what's best for the universe..."
"Hey, what's wrong with you..." Anakin asks, suddenly more concerned as he can see your face. See the lines running over your skin, dark and twisted. He seems surprised, but you're not at all convinced he cares.
"Alllways with the criticism, master!" You growl back, as if in reality his comments have always burned. Always hurt. "Never really believing in me! Trusting me! Well... I don't need you anymore." You say, turning away.
"Ahsoka. Ahsoka listen to me. He has done something to you, snap out of it! This isn't you Ahsoka!" The man sounds almost pleading as he steps closer, trying to get you to see reason, but it feels as if reason is too late. He should have appreciated you better!
"Isn't it!? I feel more like myself then I ever have!" You say, completely giddy by feeling so much power, feeling so alive. "He asked me to give you a message. He said... if you don't join him... he will KILL me." And you laugh. Positively amused by this idea. As if death didn't matter to you anymore. Simply serving the Son was enough for you now.
"I wont let him!" Anakin states firmly, determined. There is a flicker of something in the back of your mind. A hope. You hope it's true. You want someone to want you around. You want to be important to someone you respect--but that thought is fleeting and you snap.
"Then YOU will be forced to kill me!" you say, pointing a finger down at him before calling your lightsaber to your hand.
The battle is long and you mock him through out most of it. You fight hard and you find that you are almost a match for him, even if he is holding back enough not to kill you. When Master Kenobi joins in, you battle them both, giving them a good fight.
You don't remember much after that. The memory is muddled, dark and fuzzy, as if burning at the edges. Like your mind is on fire. There is a moment of pride from someone. The Son. And then the world goes dark and cold.
You remember nothing. No light at the end. No dark even. You just remember nothing.
Training Onderon's Rebels | Emotions: first crush, heart ache, alone
Your Masters have both left already, having to deal with something else, leaving you there to observe only. Observe and advise. It was hard not to get involved, especially when you believed in the cause.
You still burn a little in the cheeks when you remember your master warning you about your feelings and to stay focused on the mission at hand. It is really hard to focus though, when every time Lux and Steela were as close as they were, you felt a tightness knot up in your chest. A feeling you didn't quite understand.
Someone mumbles your name, to get your attention. Jerking back you turn around to look at a handsome faced young man. Saw Gerrera.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" You ask, embarrassed that you were caught staring off like an idiot. You don't even understand what's come over you. So what if Lux and Steela are... close. He might have been your first kiss, but it wasn't like it meant anything. It had been a cover, some time ago.
And you're a Jedi. Attachments like that are forbidden.
"I asked if you were alright." Saw says in a deep voice, eyes looking over your face in concern.
"Fine. I'm fine. Just keeping an eye on how everyone is training." It's a lie and you feel bad for stating it.
"Well, Commander, perhaps you would care to help me practice?" It was the third time Saw had come to you to get some practice in, and the third time he had helped you get your head back into the game. This was no time to be mooning over a boy you couldn't have.
Though you might have missed the fact that Saw was doing more than just distracting you. Not that you had ever been good with flirting.
Mandalore & The Last Goodbye | Emotions: pride, warmth, hope, unease
And you left. When proven innocent and given the chance to return to the Order, you decided to leave. The guilt of that action has weighed heavy for some time, but today it has lifted a bit.
Today you stand before your old Master as he accepts you once again. Not into the order, but at least into his life. He hands you two lightsabers. The two you left behind when you had to leave the order. They feel heavy in your hands as you take them. Heavy, yes, but also like they had been returned home. A familiar comfort in their weight, like you had been naked without them for some time.
"Be careful." Anakin says to you, head lifting and looking down to you with a steady but concerned look. "Maul is tricky and he has no mercy in him at all."
"I remember." You say, trying to scrape up a bit of that old bravado that earned you the nickname Snips so long ago. He's trusting you to these weapons. The weapons of a Jedi. A Jedi that you are no longer.
"I know." He smiles down upon you, rolling a shoulder, already distracted with his own fight to come. To run off and save the Chancellor Palpatine. "But you know how I worry." When he says it, it feels honest and warm. A genuine comment. He worries still. He worries about you even though you left his tutelage.
"What could happen?" You say, acting more like your old self. Cocky perhaps, and not completely serious, but there is a smile on your face now as well. It feels good to see him again. You wish he could stay and continue the fight by your side. Or that you didn't have to stay here and fight this fight. That you could return with him to help him too.
Anakin is in a rush to get back to his own mission though, leaving you and his troops to take care of Darth Maul on Mandalore. The smell of burning buildings and lands around you is strong, and the troops you haven't lead in months are waiting for you to lead them once again. Their lives are in your hands once more.
It's the last time you ever see Anakin again.
Order 66 | Emotions: alone, loss, ache, emptiness, abandonment, guilt
So intensely alone. Everything that you have been connected to before is gone, and a weight rests so heavy on your chest that it almost feels as if a building had been dropped on you.
Everything had gone to shit and you're not positive about what has happened. One minute you were fighting Darth Maul, the next minute the clone troopers turned on you. Turned on Rex as well. Caught in a rock and a hard place it came down to taking Darth Maul down or leaving Captain Rex to death.
You didn't regret your choice to save Rex. You never have, though you do hold a deep guilt in that moment, about the chaos that Darth Maul could cause, unchecked by the Jedi.
Unchecked... because the Jedi were dead. All of them. Reaching out into the Force gives you nothing but a lost, empty feeling. A dreadful feeling of being alone.
Reaching out for Anakin in the Force, trying to find that connection you and he had results in nothing. Silence. Everything was silent. There was an emptiness in the Force as if they were all gone and only you were left alone.
The Jedi were gone, and you should have been there to try and stop it. You abandoned them in their time of need. You know that if you had been there, you too would have died, but there is always that hope in the back of your head that you could have prevented something.
Rex caught the transmissions, passed along by the surviving clones reporting in. It was chaos. Every Jedi Master who had troops around them had been shot down and killed, left to lay, abandoned and alone.
Standing before a gravestone, you stare down at the name. The grave is for Captain Rex, the clone trooper you had learned so much from. You learned a lot from all of the troopers you had to lead, and they accepted you, no matter your failings, but you were closest to Rex.
You know the trooper in the grave is not Rex but another fallen clone brother in his armor. The two of you agreed to stage your deaths and go your own ways, out to the outer rim. After all, you personally would be wanted, and Rex was now AWOL.
In order to complete the image that you too are dead, you know what you must do. The two lightsabers in your hand, perfectly at home there in your grip feel heavier now than ever.
You turn them on, a green and yellowish green glow burns bright before you in the night. You tell yourself that the sting at your eyes is just the harshness of the lightsabers before you. You're not crying.
Anakin had given them back to you just that morning. You had walked away from the Jedi Temple and the Jedi order with nothing but the clothing on your back, leaving to try and find a new place in a very large galaxy. When a mission had come up that you couldn't look away from, you reached out to your former master for help.
And he accepted you. He gave the weapons of the Jedi back to you to do the job. Trusted you to do it...
You can't get the deep hurt of that failure out of your head and it hurts more every time you remember he accepted you back in his life, only to lose him again.
You turn the lightsabers off and plant them point down into the grave, shoving them into the dirt to leave them there. Who ever found the grave could connect who the lightsabers belonged to. Perhaps assume that the Jedi they belonged to was dead.
With one last glance, you turn to leave, forcing yourself not to call them to your hands again. It felt like a failure to abandon the weapons once more, but it was needed.
You are no longer a Jedi. You are no longer a peacekeeper. You have to start a new life in hiding.
Alone.
The Kybers Song | Emotions: peace in chaos, death, triumph, balance
The Sixth Brother's lightsaber was advanced and over complicated, using two kyber crystals, corrupted to turn a deep crimson red in anger.
But they call to you.
He tells you that you are weaponless, but that was where he was wrong. A Jedi was never weaponless. You had more going for you on your side than he did on his.
As the inquisitor steps towards you, close enough to touch, his blades spinning swiftly, you feel a moment of clarity, hearing them call out to you once more.
Just as you had reached for your first crystal all those year ago, you stretch your hand out.
Sensing your intentions, the Inquisitor tries to disconnect his weapon to fight you with two blades instead of one, but it was spinning too fast for him to do so.
Your hand lands almost gently on the cylindrical metal, and the Force flowed through you, warm and comforting, reminding you that it was still there within you. It had never abandoned you.
The hilt cracked at your soft touch, seeming to have nicked the power connection that channeled the crystals inside. It was overloading.
The world felt almost as if it came to a stand still. A sharp whine comes to your ears, the dark and light song of the crystals struggling for balance. You realize you needed to jump back and away.
Before you could utter a warning the red lightsaber burst into a mess of noise and light. Bright spots prick at your eyes and your ears ring for a moment, hands reaching up to protect your face and head.
When all went silent a moment later, you look up to see the Sixth Brother laying there in the street, dead. Face burnt and broken cylinder of his lightsaber in his bloody hand.
The song still sings loudly in your head, calling to you. They were still calling, as if they were always meant for you. The corrupted kyber crystals. You shift through the wreckage and found them, red and angry, littered on the ground before you.
Collecting them into your hand you hold them tightly, pulling a small bag from her belt. A half constructed set of lightsabers. Though enemy troops were near by and closing in on you, you force yourself to take a moment and close your eyes.
Meditation came easily to you now a days, and now was no exception.
For a moment, everything faded away into nothingness. Faded away into peace. It felt warm and inviting, and the song the kyber crystals that sing to you grow more peaceful and balanced as you work.
Opening your eyes you found two lightsabers, rough and unfinished but functional in your hands.
When you turned them on, they shine the brightest white you have ever seen.
A Softer Memory | Emotions: hope, ease, care, family
He had told you once that the tank was placed there for his daughter, to keep her out of trouble when he had work to do. To keep her distracted. The colorful fish were distracting, but you both knew that his daughter was growing up fast, and simple fish were not going to keep her distracted for long.
You pace, waiting for the man to appear. Like always, you have snuck into his office with out his knowing you were going to appear. You know it bothered him at first, but after some time, you are pretty sure he has gotten used to it.
'Another Jedi break in to report', he would comment at first. He knew better now.
You take a seat at his desk, waiting. You can hear the older mans voice approaching his office door. Though he is talking to someone, you can sense that he is alone.
Bail spoke on a communication device, coming into his office. "I know love, but we've gone over this. It's more secure this way." He says as the doors closes and he jumps, realizing that you are there, waiting.
You stand as you hear him say. "Tell your mother I will see her soon. Be a good girl, Leia." He turns off the device and smiles at you. "I didn't realize we had a meeting today, Fulcrum."
"I was in the sector and wanted to stop by." You say with a casual shrug and a charming smile. "How is your family doing?"
Bail smiles, a look that fits his face very well, you think. His face always lights up when you ask about his family. "They're doing well. It's getting harder and harder to keep Leia distracted from my work, however. I'm afraid she's going to follow in my foot steps."
"At least they're good steps to follow." You say, hands moving to rest behind your back, glancing over the fish tank again.
"I assume you're not here to talk about family." He says with a soft smile.
You glance back, a look of mild amusement on your face. "I do love hearing about your family, Bail, but no. I'm here to talk to you about Saw Gerrera's Partisans..."
The memory fades off there with a jumble of conversation that you cant catch. It's nothing more than a nice soft reminder of a very good man that you work for, and the very good family he loves.
Trandoshan Captors Be Damned | Emotions: triumph, worn out, pride, happy
You sit on the transport, staring off at a group of Wookiees, one of them having worked with you on the planet to get off it. Chewbacca was his name. Very helpful, very insightful. You might not have been able to do it in the end without him. Or at least the task would have been harder.
When the transport lands you slowly push yourself to stand, seeing just how muddy and messy you ended up. How many days had it been out there in the wilds? Your sore and battered, bruised and scraped. Seeing the younglings who had survived there for so much longer, get off the transport and smile at last. That made all the aches worth it.
It was a warm feeling, even through all the soreness. But not as warm as hearing your name called from your master.
Turning to look, you see Anakin rushing towards you, that look of concern and worry on his face, as well as a relief that you are alright. He may seem to act as if he doesn't worry about you in battle situations, but you know. You know for a fact that he does, and it's moments like this that you can see it clear on his face.
He grasps your shoulders and smiles down at you, his young padawan, lost from him for too long. That look on his face is also prideful to see that you made it home.
Before he can speak again, Master Plo Koon bows to you and in his calm voice says "It is good to see you safe, little one." You smile at him and give a nod in thanks. He has always been in your life in one way or another, and of course it is good to see him as well, but...
Anakin looks to you again with the most apologetic look you have ever seen your master hold. "... I am so sorry." He stated just as Master Plo Koon walks away.
"For what?" You ask, looking to him confused.
"For letting you go. For letting you get taken!" He tells you, a hand at your shoulder again, firm and strong. "It was my fault." He's so sincere. It must have scared him to have lost you.
"No... Master. It wasn't your fault." You try to reassure him.
But he's not taking it, still trying to explain. "I should have paid more attention. I should have tried harder! I..." It's clear he's torn up about losing you before.
"You already did everything you could." You reassure him as calmly as you can. Your voice is soft and heartfelt. "Everything you had to do. When I was out there. Alone. All I had was your training, and the lesson you taught me. And because of you I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well."
Anakin looks surprised as he looks down to you, eyes soft, clear that your words have touched him. "I don't know what to say..."
"I do." You say, looking up at him once again before bowing your head, hand over fist and bow to him in deep respect. "Thank you, Master."
Anakin smiles a warm smile down to you, stepping back a half a step and mimicking your pose, hand over fist and bowing. "You're welcome, my Padawan."
When you look up to that smile you feel w arm and proud. You have felt good about praise from your Master before, but something about this feels worlds warmer. Like the connection between the two of you grew stronger in that moment.
You step in beside him as you both turn to walk away, needing to fill him in on everything that happened and get cleaned up. But nothing can take that warm feeling from your chest right now.
Your master is proud of you and you are proud of yourself.
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